So today started off poorly before the rooster crowed. Actually, the day started, right as the day started. I awoke just after midnight sick to my stomach. My body ached from head to toe. My "stump" throbbed as if recently slammed in a door.
In addition to the pain, I had a couple of scenes running simultaneously through my head. The first was of an inevitable confrontation between me & the prosthetist in town. This "run-in" was part of the source of my stomach ailment, since I hate confrontation. However, I had dropped it off over a month ago to have a joint replaced & have not heard from them. When I called a couple of weeks ago I was told that "it takes time" and that he "would call me" whenever he got it done. Seriously? I'm supposed to wait around for them to fix a problem while the new leg I recently received (via UPS - click here for full story) is in need of "tweaking"?
I felt as if I was in the right & should be told EXACTLY what was going on with my leg. But I never did call today. I just felt uneasy about the whole thing. I felt I needed to consider my words before I called so I didn't go off half-cocked & stir a hornet's nest that didn't need to be disturbed. The Bible says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath" (Proverbs 15:1 NIV). I needed to find a "gentle answer".
The other part of my stomach ache was that my brother was flying into a town nearby & I was supposed to go pick up my nephew for a few days while my brother did some work. Now I love my brother & adore my nephew, but relations with my bro have been...hmm, how shall I say this..."strained" in recent years (click here). I honestly did & didn't want to see him with equal amounts of desire. I'm just not sure how to relate to him. It seems everything I say or do is wrong and I still have no idea what I did to cause this rift. I've asked him but he tells me nothing...as if I should just "know".
Anyway, I couldn't sleep last night so I got up & got on the couch. I lay there until my husband got up at 4:30. Then I made him breakfast & lay back down on the couch. I dreaded putting my leg on all day but my "good" foot & my shoulders ached so I drug my wheelchair in from the garage & wheeled around the house all day.
Well, I say all day but it was really only about an hour or two. I lay on the couch most of the day. I tried to get some work done but only managed an hour. I let the kids (my 2 and a neighbor's child I keep) run wild for the better part of the morning. I finally drug myself off the couch about 11 'ish to make some lunch. Then I brought the wheelchair in, wheeled around helping the kids clean up their relatively unsupervised mess and then, around noon:30, I got a shower.
As I dried off & prepared to don my leg I prayed again (I had been praying all morning) for God to help me not hurt long enough to face my brother & his offspring without giving them an inkling that I wasn't 100%. I like to let him believe I am just fine & don't bother letting him know that I hurt...constantly. It seems easier that way. I don't cry as much. I mean, if he knew & didn't care, that would really hurt.
Oh well. This story does have a happy ending. God answered my prayers. The pain is minimal & I still have the leg on (about 7 hours now).
P.S. I wish I had a "crippled" friend that I could talk to about things like residual limb blisters & infections, but I don't. So I will put it out here for you, the bloglings to interpret & hopefully offer suggestions...or sympathy. I really just need a hug today...
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